I am a great fan of Dr. Wayne Dwyer and have read all of his books. I love reading anything inspirational. Most recently I read his book, Inspiration. One phrase caught my attention and has resonated in my mind: “Don’t die wondering.”
I just celebrated my sixty-first birthday and I never thought I would spend the day in such a stupor. It seemed that I should have stayed in bed until the day after my birthday. My birthday is never a big deal to me. It is just another year that has passed by with the reminder that I have not yet done some things that I promised myself I would do before I die. So as I read the words’ “Don’t die wondering” inevitably I began to wonder about the future and my mortality.
This particular birthday reminded me of my dad; he died at fifty-four. His dreams were not completely fulfilled and he spent all of his life working so hard to make sure that we would not suffer economically. He never missed a day’s work until he became terminally ill. He did not last two months. So in comparison, I outlived his longevity by seven years and after working very hard all my life, unlike my dad, I was able to retire. The question is for what? I definitely have a bucket list. But I wonder if there is still a special calling for me. And I also think about my contributions to life up until now. What did I really
do?
What I now know is that my dad did so many things that were gutsy, adventurous, risky, inspirational, and people loved him for his generosity, humanity, ingenuity, great smile, hardy chuckle, and love for nature. He built a house from scratch during his vacations, days off, and birthdays. He shared George Washington’s Birthday on February 22, which was celebrated on the actual day and was a true holiday. He always got that day off to celebrate: the company he worked for had a policy that provided its employees with birthdays off. He was always kidding; he told people he had an extra day off because he knew the President and that he too was an important person.
I reminisced about all these things and asked myself the dreaded question; what have I accomplished in my sixty-one years of life? Then, I for a minute I thought I had heard his distinctive tenor type voice warning me to not die wondering and to live the now. I was shaken and brought to tears. I sobbed and started feeling sorry for myself. Then suddenly,
I snapped out of it.
I remembered all the reasons why I should be thankful. I have great children: they are accomplished and successful. I can’t stop smiling when I see my new grandson’s adorable chubby face. I just received a letter from my other grandson in his own cursive handwriting. The oldest is almost a man and is the tallest one in the family. They make me so proud. I have a husband who loves me and gets me at least four our very sentimental birthday cards that always say how much my life means to him and others. I have my older sister who has been my rock and like a parent to me but also a best friend. I have my parents’ in-law who I have adopted as my very own parents. They are always there for guidance, support, and inspiration. My family is unique and all of them inspire me one way or another. My mother taught me very important life lessons and her strength and
perseverance have been a source of inspiration my whole life. She also worked hard all her life. She adored her family and for her family came first, second, and third.
I looked out the window and saw the most glorious deep blue sky. Images floated in my mind as once again I heard the words, “Don’t die wondering.” I yelled out, “I won’t!”
I made a new list of the things I would do because I do not want to have any regrets. They are not the frivolous things I had written before like learn how to drive a race car. I do not want to wonder about the possibilities anymore and later perhaps even blame others because I did not get to do the things I proposed. I know now that nothing can stop me. I just have to get up earlier and just start.
The next time I write on this topic I will give you an update of what I have accomplished. I will probably surprise a lot of people I know. Most of all, I hope that I surprise myself. I hope I will have inspired someone to do the same. Surprise yourself and “make of yourself a masterpiece.” It would be sad to die wondering.
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