For you my son

For you my dear son.

For three months now to the day,

since October the eighth,

I feel I live in a daze.

Here I am sitting besides my favorite photos of you;

one of you when you gave Dai away on her wedding day,

and one when you were just two.

I am still trying to accept the decision God made.

I drive myself crazy for a hint or a clue;

WHY God decided to take you so soon?

Why did He not give me those precious last moments

to be there with you,

to hold and to comfort and to bid you farewell.

But what God decides no one can foretell.

I was blessed to have seen you last night in a dream;

But as they say a dream is only a dream.

My heart is so broken;

I don’t think it will ever heal.

I know you may not want me to be so sad all the time;

but I cant help what I feel.

I hope that what everyone tells me is true,

that we will all be together again some day.

For right now, I want it to be soon.

All I want is to see you again

to hug you and kiss your beautiful face.

In the meantime,

I pray you are happy my dear

darling son and full of God’s grace.

Thanks again for all those who try to console me and have sent me notes of sympathy. We are eternally grateful!