Tag Archives: tragedy

My hate/love relationship with 2020

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Never thought I would say

that any year or even the month of May

would make me so sad

and would make me so mad.

Past years have come and gone

and I was indifferent to their transition,

except of course for the years

That I hated with fervor,

where love was lost,

and when the the people

I loved the most

passed or parted forever.

I actually started loving 2020;

simply because a New Year

means hope is plenty.

I promised myself it would be a good year

to fulfill some of my bucket list dreams

Filling my life with many a cheer.

Even at my age I felt like I could start anew.

But Dreams were shattered when

A Pandemic invaded

about which too few of us knew what to do.

All dreams deferred and seemed to be in vain.

the horror of racism, hatred and mistrust

was yet another fatal kind of virus and full of disdain,

that beat my heart with a powerful thrust.

We all complied with the regulations

that were laid out for COVID 19

for all of us to be safe,

some refused and called it a hoax – which was a big mistake.

All emotion came with tears,

hauling an angry shout.

Then in October of this horrid year,

the terror grew even more.

A premonition, a deep sadness infused my soul

like never before.

Not even walking among the colorful foliage of Fall

that always brought me so much joy to see

could I conjure up happiness or at peace be.

I could only see the dark

and question life’s cruelty,

the unfairness of it all.

And as Emily did many times in her poems,

”The horror I felt deep in my heart

I could not tell to none”

so I tried to sing an auria instead.

A dear friend concerned for me

taught me to pray once again

and helped me cope with the deepest pain

no parent wants to feel.

Only God’s miracle, mercy and grace

could put at ease the fear and forever erase.

So now I try to keep hope alive

although my heart seems like

it is still,

I wait very patiently;

for a sign from the divine,

I know and trust it will only be a matter of time.

All will be well again,

2020 brought much hurt and pain.

The great thing is, it is not here to stay.

And in 23 days it will go away,

And never ever be again.

How many more?

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Today I learned about two deaths in the family. One, was taken by the virus we are all fearing these day and the other passed in an accident.

She was full of the kind of ganas that few people have for life and living. I do not think I ever saw her without a wide and beautiful contagious smile. She survived cancer twice and those scares gave her the courageous to take on this deadly virus called COVID 19. She fought it as long as she could and passed away all alone. This is the first close up and personal case I have heard of among friends and family members.

I been thinking a lot about the AFTERLIFE and what is is that happens when we leave this dimension. I have been thinking of the family members who have passed on, some for decades now. I think about these things not to be morbid or obsessive but because I suppose numbers matter and as of yesterday 138.000 souls are somewhere on another plane. Some not able to say goodbye to their loved ones.

So I did what I always do I write to alleviate the pain and to help me cope with the reality we are all facing this year. We will all know someone who knew someone with COVID and who lost the fight. It is worse when the person is someone in the family.

The other family member was younger, full of dreams. A former military man returning from a final tour. He had just relocated and was looking forward to a new job. His mother visited him this week to help him get organized and all moved into his new house. He went out to get take out and five minutes later he was killed instantly in a vehicle accident. A drunk driver impacted his motorcycle.

Two people died two days apart. One never imagined what destiny had planned. The other although on a ventilator hoped she would make it. But once again hope and praying just did not seem to be enough.

Here is my poem to help family deal with these horrible events. if you have been coping with a similar situation please share your thoughts. I always love to get your feedback. Please stay safe.

How Many More?

A rhetorical question, maybe.

Sadness stared me right in the face last night.

I could feel the heartache and pain from far away.

Grief and sorrow walked down two different paths;

Each taking a loved one to a place where forever is a stay.

Sorrow never stands alone.

Woe wails loud and clear,

when sadness comes with the loss of someone dear.

Grief pierces our hearts and I wonder if it even cares.

We can only hope that death is not proud of what it does.

How many more?

Only God knows.

In the meantime, let us remember them all

and pray that their memories are blessings.

Message from a Sad and Mad Grandma

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I am sad.

I am so sad.

I am so very sad.

I am mad.

I am so mad.

I am so very mad.

Does anyone understand the harm we are doing to our children?

Their eyes are watching.

Their fears are growing.

They hear there is a Pandemic.

They hear Covid 19.

They cannot attend school.

Now they hear that a police officer,

(Someone we told and taught them they could trust.

killed an African American man,

Just because …

But no one can explain why because no one really knows why.

I know we are hurting at so many levels.

I know the hurt and disillusion has been there for hundreds of years.

I know about the despair and the fears.

We have the right to speak up.

We have the right to make changes.

We have the right to even hate what is going on.

But hate begets hate.

We were all taught in kindergarten The Golden Rule.

We were taught to share and respect each other.

We were told that America is our Land.

We have the right to pursue our dreams and happiness.

They told us we are equal!

My God! What happened?

What Happened?

I am sad.

I am so sad.

I am so very, very sad.

I am mad.

I am so mad.

I am so very, very mad.

But then I think about the four children,

I was blessed to call my grandchildren.

And I think about all children,

Yes your children,

no matter their race,

no matter their religious creed.

And I cannot bear the thought that they too will be sad, and will be mad.

The grown-ups in this world have to wake up.

We need to show them

we can get through this together.

Stop the violence.

Stop the senseless killing.

Stop! Just stop!

I beg you.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

A picture says it all

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This poem is my cry for hope and forgiveness. I watched the news report tonight and it spattered the photograph of a father and his infant child drowned trying to cross the border. I do not know his name. I do not know how old he was. I do not and cannot understand what went through his mind when he decides to take such a risk with his young daughter. It must have been sheer desperation. My heart broke. I thought about my youngest grandchild and how she would have wrapped her arms around her father to feel safe in a situation like that. But it is really unimaginable. How cruel life can be. How sad life can be. I hope her mother finds solace. I hope their deaths will not have been in vain.

 

A picture says it all

I could not look at it though

instead I saw

shattered dreams

a tragedy so cruel

for a young father

hoping to reach

the promise the land of the free

the land of the brave

with his young child

holding him,

confident his strength

would protect her like always.

so innocent,

but nature and fate

maybe some filtered hate

drove the river wild

and out of control.

The picture no one wants to look at

says more than a thousand words.

It  broke my heart in a million pieces.

 

 

 

Tragedy Strikes Again

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I would be remiss if I did not offer my condolences to the families of the victims gunned down Wednesday while at a bible study meeting at their church in Charleston, South Carolina. It saddens me deeply that violence strikes again. I dread the questions my oldest grandson will have about this. What do you say to an eight year old who believes that church is a safe haven. For that matter that school is a safe place to be as well.

There are many issues at play with this particular incident. Or are they the same issues that come back to haunt us again and again. When will it stop? I believe that love will prevail. I believe that goodness strikes out evil. We need to take whatever time is necessary and talk to our children about what it is that makes us human. We must help them understand our biology. We all bleed the same. Our hearts (even when not very healthy) will beat to keep us alive. We all need to breathe, eat and sleep. We all want to be loved. We all need to love somebody. And when someone dies, it does not matter what language we speak; or what color our skin is, or what religion or faith we observe, we grieve with a hole left in our hearts and tears filling up our eyes. The love we feel is immense and never leaves us.

It is very simple actually this humanity of ours. We are built in a way that is so complex, interrelated, and interdependent that no one has been able to replicate what we know to be a human being.

The great phenomena is that it is indeed a very simple construct. We all need each other. Our diversity and our sameness is equally phenomenal. Senseless murder and violence hurts us all. One family member said, “Every fiber of my body hurts.” She lost a son who was her hero. Children are not suppose to die before their parents. It is not suppose to be the rule.

Our humanity must take charge and stand up tall and spread the word. We are one. A part of a whole. I am a part of you, of this planet, and you are a part of me. It is as simple as that. Call me a dreamer (I think someone said this once before.) but it is time that we take action. I know that I am not the only one. Love must win! Our humanity must be victorious.

 

“Peace is not a season; it must be a way of life.”

Survival

Really? Again?

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Really? Again?

A thought penetrates a deranged mind,

an excellent mind by some standards,

The thought becomes obsessive

destructive, shackled

and imprisoned.

No one can fathom the motive or

the thinking that journeyed

through what was once

considered a beautiful mind

Really? Again?

Where? How?

Can we even try to justify

an act of cruelty so huge?

Really?

Planned out carefully? Premeditated?

How? How come no one noticed?

Really? Again?

When will it end?

– Melba Christie

 

*May all the fallen victims of today’s tragedy in Aurora, Colorado rest in peace.  God bless the families left to ponder and grieve. A sad poem was born today.

 

Some food for thought:

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

– ISAAC ASIMOV

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished. ~Marshall Rosenberg