I often listen to sad songs to remind me that having lost someone means that you also loved someone so deeply. A song can help bring back a sweet memory and also in a weird way help you through the grieving process.. This song by Ed Sheeran is a poem.
I wrote this poem after speaking with my aunt who suffered from the dreadful disease of Alzheimer’s.
Sweet memories of my life
I pray you come back to me today
They are not any different from yesterday
but I know I will not be sure
about remembering tomorrow.
I just want to remember today;
right now without having
to slap myself in the face,
to help me see the me I forgot
the image of the me
I see so much in the photo albums
She tells me
I used to love to look at.
Help her understand;
Yesterday is gone.
Tomorrow
Well, I may not be here tomorrow.
In a poem titled The Quarrel by Stanley Kunitz, he writes: “If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.” As I reread many of the poems of this Poet Laureate, I found some poems that resonated.
I have been feeling down lately. Sad because of the violence and hatred that seems to appear everywhere. Sometimes I want to cry but I can’t. What good would it do anyway? So in honor of Stanley Kunitz I have written the following poem using a line from his poem The Quarrel.
She is just three and a half
but knows me so well
she could sense there was something wrong
with her beloved abuela*
who she calls “guela”*.
I did not want to tell her
what was in my heart
“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”
I thought about how lucky she is
to have all her grandparents.
What a blessing.
“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”
and I am too old to be beguiled
and sweet memories have been filed
away in a cloud somewhere.
“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”
What good would it do anyway?
Who listens to the cry of an orphan?
“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”
There is just too much to cry about.
There is no doubt.
Or is there?
“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”
I would be remiss if I did not offer my condolences to the families of the victims gunned down Wednesday while at a bible study meeting at their church in Charleston, South Carolina. It saddens me deeply that violence strikes again. I dread the questions my oldest grandson will have about this. What do you say to an eight year old who believes that church is a safe haven. For that matter that school is a safe place to be as well.
There are many issues at play with this particular incident. Or are they the same issues that come back to haunt us again and again. When will it stop? I believe that love will prevail. I believe that goodness strikes out evil. We need to take whatever time is necessary and talk to our children about what it is that makes us human. We must help them understand our biology. We all bleed the same. Our hearts (even when not very healthy) will beat to keep us alive. We all need to breathe, eat and sleep. We all want to be loved. We all need to love somebody. And when someone dies, it does not matter what language we speak; or what color our skin is, or what religion or faith we observe, we grieve with a hole left in our hearts and tears filling up our eyes. The love we feel is immense and never leaves us.
It is very simple actually this humanity of ours. We are built in a way that is so complex, interrelated, and interdependent that no one has been able to replicate what we know to be a human being.
The great phenomena is that it is indeed a very simple construct. We all need each other. Our diversity and our sameness is equally phenomenal. Senseless murder and violence hurts us all. One family member said, “Every fiber of my body hurts.” She lost a son who was her hero. Children are not suppose to die before their parents. It is not suppose to be the rule.
Our humanity must take charge and stand up tall and spread the word. We are one. A part of a whole. I am a part of you, of this planet, and you are a part of me. It is as simple as that. Call me a dreamer (I think someone said this once before.) but it is time that we take action. I know that I am not the only one. Love must win! Our humanity must be victorious.
“Peace is not a season; it must be a way of life.”
We mourn those afflicted
by addiction
every day
of their lives
in anticipation of the inevitable.
fearing the way
they may
loose their souls one day
it seems too easy for some to get high
the question is why
they need to live such a lie
they fool no one
but themselves
they escape nothing
but hurt everyone who loves them
what goes through their mind?
what great pleasure derived,
that they risk death?
what urges envelope
some souls so fearlessly?
Addiction is an affliction
some say a disease
Does this news put you at ease?
Pardon me please
i will never comprehend
the affliction of addiction.
* I pray for all those who fight addiction. I was so sad to hear that one of my favorite actors may have died from an overdose.
Where are my angels?
“Now and Forever”
was the song playing on the radio
that lonely morning
as I drove to see you one
last time.
I could not sleep
thinking you might not last
through the night
and you did not.
“you are a part of me
now and forever,
and
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do”
You were always there for me
and I miss you so much.
It has been 19 years to the day
you decided not to stay
and I know deep in my heart
why you could not
and it’s O.K.,
I know you found the way
to heaven.
Dear Mom,
“And I think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken”
“Now and forever
I will always think of you.
Now and forever
I will always think of you.”
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