If I Could Cry


In a poem titled The Quarrel by Stanley Kunitz, he writes: “If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.” As I reread many of the poems of this Poet Laureate, I found some poems that resonated.

I have been feeling down lately. Sad because of the violence and hatred that seems to appear everywhere.  Sometimes I want to cry but I can’t. What good would it do anyway? So in honor of Stanley Kunitz I have written the following poem using a line from his poem The Quarrel.

 

She is just three and a half

but knows me so well

she could sense there was something wrong

with her beloved abuela*

who she calls “guela”*.

I did not want to tell her

what was in my heart

“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”

I thought about how lucky she is

to have all her grandparents.

What a blessing.

 

“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”

and I am too old to be beguiled

and sweet memories have been filed

away in a cloud somewhere.

 

“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”

What good would it do anyway?

Who listens to the cry of an orphan?

 

“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”

There is just too much to cry about.

There is no doubt.

Or is there?

“If I could cry, I’d cry, but I am too old to be anybody’s child.”

 

  • grandmother
  • grandchild’s way of saying abuela